Monday, October 25, 2010

2 Feet...

I started becoming accustomed to living in Nashville, so I thought. It wasn't until my rude awakening at least. I went out to lunch with Daniel before he had to head out to work. We went to this place called Jersey Mikes, kind of like a subway but a little better, I was actually surprised at how good it was. 

When we finished eating at Jersey Mikes, Daniel said that we needed to hurry to leave in order for him to get me home and for him to get to work on time. Me, being the savvy New Yorker that I am told Daniel, not to worry!, I'm going to go to Walmart and pick up some groceries so that way I can put my cooking skills to use when he got home.Daniel sort of looked at me as though I had four heads. He said, "You can't walk home, are you crazy?!" I was confused, I said, it's just down the street, how bad could it be?! He was concerned about the heat, and I reassured him that I was going to be fine, "I'm from New York! I walk everywhere!!" He gave me the key and said, "Goodluck."

After buying some groceries to make chicken parm with spaghetti, and have a nice cool drink of limeaid for when I made it home, I set off down the street to walk back to my apartment complex. By the time I made it through the Walmart parking lot I was already too hot and exhausted, what the hell was I thinking?!?! 

I carried these heavy ass bags all the way to Walgreens, where I bought one of those homeless people shopping carts, that way I didn't have to carry those things all the way home. I was trying to explain to the lady that it was a shopping cart that I needed, she said, "Oh honey those are outside!" Did she want me to steal one? I reminded her that it was a shopping cart that I could purchase! "Why would you need one of them?" Is she serious, asking me these stupid questions?!Why did she care why I needed a shopping cart! I explained to her that I just moved here from New York, and that I didn't drive, and I needed it to hold my groceries in so I could walk home. "Ya don't drive? Well, why not?" She obviously hadn't been listening to me, everyone knows that if you come from New York, nine times out of ten you are unable to drive. So much for southern hospitality, I clearly explained it to her, guess she had better things to do than to listen to my story.

I finally  buy the shopping cart and to my dismay I realized, I have to build the damn thing. Seriously?! I was regretting not having Daniel just take me home. As I'm trying to figure out which wheel goes where I meet this woman that is just staring at me. I look up at her, and sort of smile to try and act friendly. "Aren't those things just wonderful?!" I smirked and didn't realize what she was talking about, until she told me how to set up my homeless man cart. I never met anyone so excited about these homeless men carts before. She helped me fix it and I thanked her, I put my bags in my homeless cart and started my way home.

In Tennessee, at least in my neighborhood, they feel that it is quite alright to not have any sidewalks. So I'm trying to lug this 25 pound homeless cart around in this dirt and grass path that was about 2 feet wide, while trying not to get hit by these maniac drivers they have down here. I was busting out a sweat and my feet were now gray! People driving by in their cars looked so confused as they passed by me, I was half tempted to sit along the road with an empty cup and sign, maybe they would really think I'm homeless and offer me some money. Anything helps, by this point I had no shame.

By the time I made it home, it had taken me about,close to an hour and a half and I was literally about to collapse.  Tennessee really needed to modify their state for those people who might want to take obscenely long and strenuous walks, why not? I learned the hard way that day, that maybe it was time for me to at least try to learn how to drive, because I was obviously getting nowhere far or fast with just my 2 feet.